I'm too judgmental of myself

Why do I always have to compare myself to other people? I always have to. It's not like I'm meaning to. I'm not doing it on purpose. It just happens. I juxtapose myself against these practically perfect beings and put myself down. I have issues, I have problems. I know I do. But I can't seem to stop this odd habit of mine. I go through phases of my life. I try to be exactly like this person that I'm currently idolizing. I go as far as styling my hair to that to throwing out clothes to changing a lot of things about myself including my personality. It feels like i'm not even comfortable in my own skin, I have to be someone else to be accepted and liked for who I am. Maybe that's because I have serious trust issues and this deep & festering fear that if they all truly knew who I was then I would be shunned by every single human to walk this planet. It feels like no one completely knows me because I shut my real soul away from the world. Only a few people have succeeded in finding it. I feel so confused about who I'm supposed to be. This whole scenario seems so strange. I know why I do it, but I don't know how to stop it. I know that I want to be different. I don't want to be a brainless bimbo. A popular girl that blends into society getting by on the fact that she's got a nice face and a non existent brain. I don't want to be a clone. I don't want to be like them. And yet every single teenager says the same. "I want to be different from everyone else. I want to stand out and be heard." A line that we've all heard over and over again. Everyone want's to be different. I know. It's so cliched. But the sad part is that we really are all alike. Almost none of us are different. Sad but true. And the fact that I can't find who I am is bothering me. It's almost like I'm from somewhere above looking down on myself as I go through this constant routine of change. I really hate the way things like this go down. Its disgusting. I wish it wasn't possible and I allowed myself to be my own person. I hate this facade that I keep putting on. But aside from the mask that I'm wearing, I'm so very thankful for my best friend. She is the greatest! She's the sweetest most amazing girl I've ever met. She shows benevolence to everyone and anyone who crosses her pathway and I wish I could be more like her. (: I love you Shalyn! Well, for now I'll be leaving. Sayonara.